You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
