Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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