chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
