ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
My cat gives me a boner
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
