How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
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