well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
