Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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