fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
