this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
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