i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I see more hoeing in ur future
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