Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
