i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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