I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
