ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
