can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The air was thick with penises
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
