She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
