home. puking in laundry basket.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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