I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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