Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
