my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
