Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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