the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
