wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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