I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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