I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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