saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
