She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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