The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
