Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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