By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize