Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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