my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We are two peas in an std pod
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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