We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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