she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
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