somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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