I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
