Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
