this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
