U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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