so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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