i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
