This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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