if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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