i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
