I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
