i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
