I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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