we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
