He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
