He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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