I have demons in me.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
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