I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I AM VODKA MAN
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
