He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
