just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
