69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I want a musical about memes.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
