maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
