How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize