This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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